May 2015



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Sep. 27th, 2025

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May. 20th, 2015

Guess who's back?

Yep. I'm back.

It was a difficult semester, I'll be honest with you. I was suffering from back pain which still hasn't completely gone away, I've been dealing with my parents preparing to move, and I got a job. But I'm okay, for the most part.

I just really haven't been in the mood to write anything, whether it's fic or blog. But now that the semester is over, I think I'll be in a better mood to update a little more often.

Just not today. I'm tired today. But please don't worry, I think things are going to start getting better. At least I'm not on the OxyContin anymore for the back pain, that was rough, and thankfully I wound up passing all my classes, which was looking a little sketchy for a while.

Feb. 27th, 2015

Fic Rec #49

Why yes, it is a fic rec, thank you for asking. I actually feel a little awkward posting this so quickly after the class-on-fanfiction clusterfuck, but I'm also not a professor and this is my personal blog. Just... maybe don't leave any comments on the fics if you're not used to it, okay? I'd kind of hate to think I'd accidentally subjected someone to an influx of morons. Not that you guys are morons... yeah, I'm just going to stop while I'm ahead here.


Fandom: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
Category: Slash
Rating: Hard R

I can’t usually play video games very well. They all seem to have that damn shaky-cam thing that makes me sick to my stomach, so I really only use my PS3 as a BluRay player, with a few exceptions for games I know I can play. Yeah, I know. But I do like to play games on my phone, because it’s small enough that it doesn’t upset my stomach. Anyway, Capcom released the Phoenix Wright games for iOS so I’ve been playing them in my spare time, and I’ve really enjoyed them. So of course I went to go look for fic (especially for Phoenix/Edgeworth slash)… and I’ve found plenty. In this one, people keep interrupting them at the most awkward times. While this fic isn’t quite to the NC-17 level I’d still consider it pretty NSFW, so keep that in mind.

Steve Rogers at 100: Celebrating Captain America on Film
Fandom: The Avengers
Category: Indeterminate (see notes)
Rating: PG-13

This story is kind of hard to describe. It’s certainly completely different from any fanfiction I’ve ever read. Parts of it are written like someone’s term paper for a film studies class, some parts of it are in blog excerpts, a good portion of it is like a movie script, and only a very small portion of it is actually anything you might recognize as a fanfiction. Basically, Steve turns 100, so there’s going to be a film festival dedicated to presentations of him in movies. He and Bucky end up watching them… which usually doesn’t end very well. The poor guys end up seeing themselves totally bastardized in the popular imagination, and the unorthodox (well, is anything about fanfiction really orthodox to begin with) format works exceptionally well.

Multi-Chapter Fics

Turnabout Pizzeria
Fandom: Crossover between Five Nights at Freddy’s and Phoenix Wright: Apollo Justice
Category: Gen
Rating: PG-13
Completion Status: 38 posts, sequel in project (possibly dropped sequel)
Notes: The on-screen violence is not particularly graphic, but what is hinted at to have happened in the past is extremely disturbing.

If you want a good creepy story, this is for you. Five Nights at Freddy’s is a survival horror video game, where you are a security guard at a Chuck E. Cheese style pizza parlor overnight, where the robotic mascots turn homicidal at night. I’ll be honest- I’ve never played the game, largely because of my inability to play a lot of video games, but I read a lot about it, and know the basic storyline. In this fic, Apollo and Athena get a job as the security guards and work to discover the truth behind the homicidal robots. What turned the robots into the “kill all humans” type is truly horrifying- I don’t want to give away what happened, but if you’re easily upset I’d give this one a pass.

The Boogeyman’s Lullaby
Fandom: Rise of the Guardians
Category: pre-slash
Rating: PG-13
Completion Status: 20 chapters, in progress

While the current rating of the story is at PG-13 and there hasn’t been anything really slashy yet, if this story continues on its trajectory it’s very likely that the rating will change and it will become more slash, rather than just pre-slash. Jack is very close to becoming a hikikomori when he receives a weird email that summons something into his room… a very bad-tempered boogeyman.

Feb. 24th, 2015

Oh Holy Shit

Yesterday I turned 23 and I was going to post about my birthday. Until I saw this insane plan to make people comment on fanfiction for a college class, and all of a sudden recounting my boring birthday celebration didn't seem all that important anymore. There is more information on this topic here

And dear god, I'm horrified by this. I'm incredibly relieved that I'm such a shitty writer that I've never gotten on the radar of any of these professor-types. And I'm glad that my most popular fic ever is written under a sock account (which I'm not going to give out here, given the circumstances). And even that is crappy enough that nobody would have ever thought to make it required reading for a college course.

Look, I am a college student. I have been a college student for five years. I am very well familiar with college students. This is one of the worst things these professors could have possibly done to fanfiction writers. College students are, quite often, tone-deaf galoots, and that's putting it politely. Trust me, I could say way more on the subject, but I'm not going to, because I'm going to assume most people know what I'm talking about. Let's just say that Accepted and Animal House were made for a reason. The idea of some of the people I go to school with barging into some poor unsuspecting author's work and leaving the sort of dumbass comments I'd expect from them is making me cringe in my desk chair. And I'm not even a well-known writer! I have like five people that regularly read this blog, maybe a few more for my old fic, and most people who know me in real life don't know I read/write fic. I've been careful to keep my two lives separate, partially out of fear of something like this happening! Well, okay, maybe not this happening, because in what universe is fanfiction considered an appropriate topic for a college class? Some of the stuff that's required reading for this class is explicit slash fic, or explicit incest fic. I would assume that would get the professor reprimanded at the very least, but maybe not. After all we're supposed to be adults...

Good lord, it's like all of my nightmares came true at once, and I'm not even involved! I can only imagine that it is much worse for the writers involved.

Feb. 15th, 2015


Yeah, I know, something's not working right. I think the stylesheet code got corrupted somehow. Things might look a little wonky here for a little bit, but I'll have the Lawn back to normal ASAP (although possibly with a new look).

EDIT- Okay, and we're back, with a new look! It's going to take a little while to get used to, maybe, but I like it so far. It's less... pink.

Things That Smell Good

This is a really interesting article about how American perfume preferences differ from perfume preferences of people in other countries. I like to wear perfume, although I sort of got out of the habit when I worked in foodservice (apparently scents can cause problems with taste of the food, so if we got caught wearing perfume the sorta-boss would yell at us), and I haven't quite managed to get back into wearing it all the time.

The article does go a bit off on a tangent in the bottom third of the article (and never does really explain where she got some of her ideas, or what the back up for it is), but overall it's really interesting, and I thought I'd share it with you guy.

Feb. 3rd, 2015

Up A Cup

I may have been diagnosed with the stupidest reason for back pain ever. The rest of this post is going behind a cut because you probably don't want to read about my health problems. It's not graphic, but it is really dumb. If this is actually what the problem is I'm never going to live it down.

Jan. 30th, 2015

Fic Rec #48

It’s short, I know, but be glad you’re getting this rec… my doctors have been yelling at me to spend less time lurking around, and with the back problems I have been having I’ve been reading a lot less fic, because for a while it was too painful to sit up. But I missed a month not too long ago and I really don’t want to make a habit of it, so here you go.

Oh, and before I forget, even though it’s the end of January already, happy new year!


Road to Nowhere
Fandom: Thor
Category: Gen
Rating: PG-13

Loki gets the idea to go and get Frigga from Valhalla, and he talks Thor into going with him. It turns into a very dangerous, argument-fraught intergalactic road trip. While the premise sounds pretty cracky, it’s actually surprisingly serious and moving. Frigga being all irritated with her sons when they show up in Valhalla is the best part of the whole thing.

Fandom: Vocaloid
Category: Het
Rating: PG

Vocaloid fic can be very confusing, especially if you’re fairly new to the fandom. The characters generally don’t have an established personality, so it can vary widely from fic to fic, and a lot of authors don’t really explain the situation very well, forgetting that not everyone has their own headcanons. This story is an exception to that- the author very clearly has his or her own ideas, but manages to explain them relatively well, and creates an enjoyable story where Kiyoteru and Iroha get together, despite some misunderstandings in the beginning.

Multi-Chapter Fics

Lady Malfoy
Fandom: Harry Potter
Category: Het, gen
Rating: Low R
Completion Status: 41 chapters, completed
Notes: Graphic violence in some chapters, discussion of an (off-screen) sexual assault, attempted non-con

This story was written quite some time ago, possibly before the final book came out, I can't be sure, so it doesn't really follow canon all that well. Basically, Rodolphus Lestrange is alive and pissed off, and he wants revenge on Hermione (who killed Bellatrix in this version of events), so Hermione is sent to live with Draco Malfoy for protection. Among other things, she discovers a complicated situation involving a homicidal ghost haunting Malfoy Manor, Bellatrix Lestrange's son, and a serious illness that Draco has contracted. Please pay attention to the notes on this- while the story itself never gets too detailed some of the story's major plotlines may be very upsetting for some readers, and in some ways the lack of details make it worse. The ghost's storyline especially is really depressing, and only gets more so when it connects up with the rest of the plot.

Jan. 26th, 2015


Hey, who wrote a song about me?
Tags: ,

Jan. 19th, 2015

Dorms Are Not Supposed To Be Re-education Camps

Apparently it's now required to discuss your most private thoughts with the RA if you live on campus at the University of Delaware.

According to the article, students at the University of Delaware are being required to submit to a fairly invasive questionnare administered by their Resident Advisor f they live in the dormitories. If they refuse or do not answer the questions “properly” they can be reported to the campus police, or face other disciplinary action.

It seems that the logic behind this is to educate students on issues their peers might face. Okay, fine. But why does that need to include invasive questions about the student's sexual orientation, and why does it need to delve so deeply into the student's personal lives? My first year at university, I had a very good RA, who helped me through a difficult time after I found out that a friend of mine had died very suddenly. But I sure as hell wouldn't have wanted to discuss things like my “sexual awakening” with him. He was a good guy, but that was none of his damn business. And getting into people's political beliefs? That was of no concern to the rest of the people on my floor. I barely spoke to any of them! A few of them I strongly disliked!

I'm also pretty disturbed by the way the article states that the students were forced to act out racial stereotypes, in the name of “breaking them down.” I'm sorry, but I don't really see how that's going to demolish any stereotypes. All it's going to do is make everyone very uncomfortable.

I'm honestly quite shocked, and very glad that I moved back in with my parents. Dormitory life was just annoying, when I lived in one. At least all I had to deal with was annoying neighbors, not this gulag-type environment.

If you're a university student, and you've been subjected to something invasive like this, I would suggest that you contact FIRE, the organization this article came from. They might be able to help you better than I could. Even if you are comfortable with the questions being asked, please understand that not everyone might be. I certainly do not want to discuss my sexuality or my family life IRL with people I barely know.

Jan. 8th, 2015

La Pelouse Se Tient Avec La France

Please excuse my bad Google Translate French for the title. I never took French- I took Spanish in middle and high school although never achieved fluency, and my second language is Japanese. But after the events of yesterday I felt it important to express my solidarity with the French people.

Here in America, sometimes it seems like we’ve become too accustomed to mass murders. A lot of the time, we turn on the news and go, “another one? Where was it this time? Oh, on the other side of the country? That’s awful but at least it’s not going to impact my life,” and we move on. But when something similar happens in another country, it can be even more shocking to us. We’re used to having shooting sprees in the US, and we expect things like this from some other countries- Nigeria and China seem to have similar events relatively commonly, and incidents like this seem to happen in parts of the Middle East almost daily. But when it happens in a country that we don’t usually hear of as being prone to this kind of thing. It’s very surprising when it happens in Europe, because if you believe our news media here, either nobody in Europe has any guns so how the hell are they going to go on a shooting spree, or that Europe is a lot more enlightened and progressive than we are, depending on what channel you watch or what blogs you read. But that’s really neither here nor there- what I want to talk about is the event that took place yesterday, where 12 people were murdered at a magazine headquarters.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not really saying that the cartoons published that incited the killers were tasteful or classy. Far from it. They were actually fairly offensive to the average person (well, in the US at least- I fully admit that I’ve never been to France and know very little about what French social norms are like.). However. Civilized people do not go around murdering other people who said something they found offensive. If we did that, humanity would die out, since pretty much everyone has, at one point or another, said something that offended someone else. That’s not the way that logical people do business, and fortunately. 99% of humanity falls into the category. Most people are not going to go on a homicidal rampage because they were offended, and thank god for that. But there is still that 1% that does drastic things in the name of whatever their ideology is. 1000-500 years ago, it was the Christian religion, with the Crusades and the Spanish Inquisition. 70 years ago, it was the Nazis, with the Holocaust. 50 years ago, it was the Communists, with the gulags and the killing fields. Today, unfortunately, it seems like there are more and more people willing to do these drastic things, and it’s not even limited to anything in particular. Some people blame Islam and Muslims, and given ISIS, 9/11, and yesterday’s attack on Charlie Hebdo, it is easy to see why some people would think that. But let’s remember that people within recent memory have committed similar atrocities for other, completely unrelated reasons. Cho Seung-hui shot up Virginia Tech- he had no connection to Islam at all. Adam Lanza killed twenty elementary school students, same thing. Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords survived an assassination attempt by a lone crazy person. The day before yesterday, there may even have been a racially motivated attack on a NAACP office in Colorado, although nothing is confirmed at this point in time. It is important to remember that there are people who are willing to murder other people for no reason, or very flimsy reasons, but most people are not like that. That goes for everyone. Most Muslims are reasonable, normal people who want to live their lives like everyone else.

That said. I am in no way excusing what happened at Charlie Hebdo. I condemn the violence in the strongest possible terms. Free speech is very important to me. It is one of the principles that my home country was founded on, and it’s something that I hold very dear to me. Being able to say what I want (well, within reason- can’t go around threatening to murder people) is a freedom that my family wouldn’t have had if they’d stayed in their country of origin. It is a fundamental human right that I consider extremely important. Even being able to write this blog is something that I wouldn’t be able to do without fear if I was in certain other places. An attack on free speech is an attack on humanity as a whole. Being able to discuss things freely without fear of government repercussions, or crazy people murdering us, is how our species will move forward in the future. We cannot give in to people who want to silence free expression and exchange, even if we find some of that expression distasteful or disgusting. As Voltaire said, “I do not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”

It might be a good idea to begin to apply a cost-benefit analysis when it comes to expressing yourself, but in a perfect world, nobody would be murdered for what they say. While I’m not posting offensive caricatures, what if someone took offense to what I’ve written on my blog, either in this post, or in the past? Would I have to worry about being gunned down in my home or my workplace? What if I said something off the cuff to a friend, and someone overheard and got offended? Would that give that person the right to kill me? I sincerely hope not, because I like to think that, as a whole, we are better than that.

The main takeaway I wish to give to this post is that freedom of speech is important. So are your fellow humans. Do not allow justified anger to turn into attacks on innocent people who had nothing to do with the incident- it is a lesson we have learned the hard way in the United States. But also never forget that freedom of speech is one of the most important things we can have, as a species. Attack on freedom of speech is an attack on all of us. And that even despite differences of opinion, you can fight for what you believe in, even if what you stand up for is against everything else you stand for in general. One of the deceased was a police officer who’d gone to respond to the shootings. He was Muslim, and he lost his life protecting the freedom of the press and the lives of the staff of the magazine. His name was Ahmed Merabet. Do not let his death be in vain. Do not let the deaths of Frederic Boisseau, Franck Brinsolaro, Jean Cabut, Elsa Cayat, Stephane Charbonnier, Philippe Honore, Barnard Maris, Mustapha Ourrad, Michel Renaud, Bernard Verlhac, and Georges Wolinski be in vain.

Je suis Charlie. Je suis Ahmed.

Jan. 3rd, 2015

Spoke Too Soon

What a way to start off the new year... last year, when I started getting massages done professionally I thought that would be the end of my problems with my back pain, or at least that they would help a little bit. Last night, however, I was in the most pain I have been in since I had a in internal cyst rupture. It was excruciating. Even the most heavy-duty painkillers I had did very little except make me loopier than fluffy yarn and only take the edge off. It was still very painful- lying down hurt like hell, but sitting up or standing only made it ten times worse. It was bad enough that my father almost called 911 to get me taken to the hospital- he was concerned I had a vertebrae pop out of alignment or something, but my mother talked him down from it. Meanwhile, I was writhing around on the floor trying not to scream in pain and beg for someone to just end it for me. It was that bad. Finally I managed to fall asleep after another dose of hardcore pain meds.

So this morning I went to the urgent care doctor. I waited four hours in a room full of people with the flu to see a doctor and probably caught that now too. When I finally got into see the doctor, he basically prescribed me more codeine and a muscle relaxant and told me that nothing I could do was really going to help at all. Wonderful. At least I didn't have to go to the hospital to hear the same thing.

Really, I probably shouldn't be sitting here typing this- I'm supposed to avoid sitting around too much. I don't know what else I'm expected to do though, considering that standing up and lying down is equally painful.

All I'm going to say is that 2015 is not looking to be very good if this is the sort of thing I have to look forward to for the rest of the year. Happy Fucking New Year to me.

Jan. 1st, 2015

2014 Book List

This year, I challenged myself to stop being a lazy-ass and actually read something that isn't either fanfiction or for school. The challenge is for 100 books, and it's usually logged through Goodreads. I do not have a Goodreads account, nor do I particularly want one, so I decided to log it in a text document on my computer, and then post it at the end of the year. I didn’t get to 100, but I think I did respectably, considering I rarely ever have time to read anymore. There are several large gaps in between completion of books, due to various reasons (largely university being a timesuck).

When I was younger, I used to read a ton of books. I loved to read. Then I grew up, went to high school, and realized that honestly, after reading all of this stuff for school, I didn't want to read anymore.

In 2013, my mother started getting on my case about it. “All you ever do is watch TV and screw around on the Internet! You used to read all the time! What happened?” Well, I got older and realized I don't have tons of time to read anymore, and when I do have time to read, I want to read fic, not book. But this year, I decided to try to read a bit more than I usually do. And here's the results of that challenge, in the order of the books I read all the way through. I was going to include a short summary, but I'm lazy, so I ended up just linking to the Amazon page, which should have reviews as well as a summary. If you have any questions about the books you can leave a comment asking for more information and I will do my best to answer them, but keep in mind that some of these books I read a while ago, and I might not remember everything about them.

You can use this as a rec list if you want, but to be honest, some of these books I liked a lot better than others. If you have a question you can comment or email me. Manga read in book format, as opposed to scans, is also included, although scanlations/manga ebooks were not included because of the volatile natures of those sites- one day you log on, the next day it’s been deleted.

I have included books that were required for my classes, except textbooks. There were some other books that were only available as e-books. Anything that is only available as an e-book is marked with a * after the title, and anything read for class is marked with **.

So, onto the books!

1. 1634: The Galileo Affair: Eric Flint and Andrew Dennis
Date Completed: 1.4.2014

2. 1635: Cannon Law: Eric Flint and Andrew Dennish
Date Completed: 1.6.2014

3. 1635: The Papal Stakes: Eric Flint and Charles E. Gannon
Date Completed: 1.16.2014

4. Grantville Gazette I: Eric Flint et. al.
Date Completed: 2.25.2014

5. The Winter Witch: Paula Braxton
Date Completed: 2.27.2014

6. Grantville Gazette II: Eric Flint et. al.
Date Completed: 3.6.2014

7. Crowned: Julie Linker
Date Completed: 3.11.2014

8. Kitchen Princess Omnibus Vol. 1 : Natsumi Ando, Miyuki Kobayashi
Date Completed: 3.11.2014

9. Kitchen Princess Omnibus Vol. 2: Natsumi Ando, Miyuki Kobayashi
Date Completed: 3.12.2014

10. Kitchen Princess Omnibus Vol. 3: Natsumi Ando, Miyuki Kobayashi
Date Completed: 3.12.2014

11. Absolute Conviction: My Father, a City, and the Conflict that Divided America**: Eyal Press
Date Completed: 4.24.2014

12. The Wichita Divide: The Murder of Dr. George Tiller and the Battle over Abortion**: Steven Singular
Date Completed: 4.26.2014

13. Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children: Ransom Riggs
Date Completed: 6.13.2014

14. House of Faith or Enchanted Forest? American Popular Belief in an Age of Reason**: Charles W. Hedrick
Date Completed: 6.24.2014

15. Mighty Like A River: The Black Church and Social Reform**: Andrew Billingsley
Date Completed: 6.26.2014

16. The Spirit Catches You And You Fall Down: Ann Fadiman
Date Completed: 7.1.2014

17. Moving the Rock: Poverty and Faith in Black Storefront Church**: Mary E. Abrums
Date Completed: 7.8.2014

18. Black Saints in a White Church: Contemporary African-American Mormons**: Jessie L. Embry
Date Completed: 7.17.2014

19. High * Speed!*‡ Kouji Oji
Date Completed : 8.5.2014

20. Diary of a Sorority House Mom*: Ann Hyman
Date Completed: 9.3.2014

21. The Mormon Question: Polygamy and Constitutional Conflict in Nineteenth Century America**: Sarah Barringer Gordon
Date Completed: 9.28.2014

22. Animal Sacrifice and Religious Freedom: Church of the Lukumi Babalyu Aye vs. City of Hialeah**: David M. Obrien
Date Completed: 10.9.2014

23. Jury Discrimination: The Supreme Court, Public Opinion, and a Grassroots Fight for Racial Equality in Mississippi**: Christopher Waldrep
Date Completed: 10.24.2014

24. The Will of the People: How Public Opinion Has Influenced The Supreme Court and Shaped the Meaning of the Constitution**: Barry Friedman
Date Completed: 10.31.2014

25. The Runaway Bridegroom*: Sundari Ventrakaman
Date Completed: 11.9.2014

26. The Bus Kids: Ira W. Lit
Date Completed: 12.1.2014

27. The iCandidate: Mikael Carlson
Date Completed: 12.27.2014

28. The iCongressman: Mikael Carlson
Date Completed: 12.31.2014

‡- The version of this book that I read was an unofficial English translation, since I couldn’t get the original Japanese copy without paying at least $50 to get it, which I did not want to do. The link I downloaded it from is no longer active, and I cannot locate another one, I still have the file though, if you want it comment with your email address and I’ll send it to you.

Dec. 24th, 2014

Fic Rec #47: The Lawn's Fourth Annual Christmas Fic Rec!

Yes, it's that time of year again. And to be honest, this year's almost didn't happen. It's been a bad few months for me and reading Christmassy stuff just wasn't something I was in the mood for. Usually I start looking for Christmas fics in September or October... this year I didn't do it until Thanksgiving, but I still think it came out okay, even if it’s kind of short and there’s no multi-chapter fics this year.

Happy Holidays!


Have Yourself a Merry NORAD Christmas
Fandom: Hetalia
Category: Gen
Rating: G

Every year, since the 1950s, America and Canada give Santa an escort over their territories in fighter jets. This is loosely (very loosely) based on a true story- in the 1950s, a department store tried to set up a telephone line where kids could call and talk to Santa Claus, but they made a typo and instead printed the phone number for the US Air Defense Command Center (the precursor to NORAD). None of the NORAD people wanted to break children's dreams, so they decided to tell kids where Santa's sleigh was. This still happens today, and it makes for a really cute fic.

In Her Place
Fandom: Harry Potter
Category: Gen
Rating: PG-13

Ok, this is really only a Christmas fic in the most technical sense- it takes place at Christmas and it’s not really the most holiday-ish premise. Basically, over the holidays, Draco Malfoy has the best idea ever- he is going to use Polyjuice potion to figure out what the Gryffindor Quidditch team strategy is and accidentally ends up going undercover as Hermione. He finds out that life as Hermione is pretty difficult… bitchy roommates, creepy perverts with mistletoe, and high heels are the least of his problems. This is a pretty funny story, although oddly enough the site will ask you to confirm that you’re 18+ to access this story even though it’s PG-13, and barely at that.

All I Want For Christmas Is…
Fandom: Free!
Category: Gen
Rating: G

Based on the scene in Episode 10 where Mini-Sousuke and Mini-Gou hold a Christmas party for Mini-Rin with the flu. Just a cute, sweet story about kids wanting to cheer up their sick friend by throwing a party.

Dec. 12th, 2014

Quick Survey

1:Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? : Yes, I haven't smoked in... holy crap, has it already been seven years?

2:Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused? : Single but there is someone who I care for. I don't think he thinks the same for me though.

3:What if I told you that you were pretty? : Uh, thanks?

4:Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”? : No.

5:Are you interested in anyone right now? : Yes, there is someone.

6:What are you looking forward to in the next week? : Sleeping! My last exam is on Monday so then I won't have anything to do until January.

7:Do you want to be single?: Not really, but I am.

8:Did you go out or stay in last night? : I went to get dinner, does that count?

9:How late did you stay up last night? : I think I went to bed at 11:30

10:Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot? : Yes, it wasn't that long ago really.

11:Last three things you had to drink?: Uh... iced tea, Diet Cranberry Sierra Mist, and water.

12:Have you pretended to like someone? : I don't think so?

13:Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it? : Yes

14:Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months? : Does the doctor count?

15:Is it hard for you to get over someone? : Not really.

16:Think back five months ago, were you single? : Yes

17:What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon? : Making soup.

18:Hold hands with anyone this week? : No.

19:Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? : No, I like wine too much.

20:What would you name your future daughter? : Well, I hope I have sons, but I always thought if I did have a daughter I would name her

21:Do you miss anyone? : I guess?

22:Have you kissed three or more people in one night? : HAHAHA. NO.

23:Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? : No

24:Are you good at hiding your feelings? : Yes

25:Have you ever cried from being so mad? : Yes

26:Who did you last see in person? : My mother

27:Are you listening to music right now? : Yes

28:What is something you currently want right now? : A billion dollars!

29:What is the last thing you said out lot? : I think I asked my mother if she wanted to go to the next town with me.

30:How is your heart lately? : I think it's fine? I haven't had a heart attack, if that's what you're asking.

31:Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?: No, I hate wearing hoods and hats.

32:Are you wearing socks? : Yes

33:What do people call you? : My name?

34:Will you talk to the person you like tonight? : I don't think so.

35:Are there any stressful situations in your life? : I have an exam on Monday.

36:Who did you last share a bed with?: Oh sheesh, I have no idea. I think it was with one of my best friends about five or six years ago when
the place we went to only had one bed? I don't usually share a bed with anyone.

37:Did you do something bad today?: I spent some money I probably shouldn't have...

38:When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?: I can't remember unless you're counting relatives. My little nephew is very huggy.

39:Do you get stressed out easily? : Yes

40:Will you sing today? : No, I sound like a dying cat.

41:Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t? : Yes

42:Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? : I guess my friends?

43:Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? : Yes

44:What are you listening to right now? This

45:What is wrong with you right now?: I'm kind of sick

46:What is on your wrists right now?: Nothing

47:Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing?: Shirt came from PacSun, sweatshirt is from a touristy shop in Colorado.

48:What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider?: Eurgh, I don't really like either, but I guess hot chocolate.

49:Do you make wishes at 11:11? : Sometimes.

50:Are you a good artist?: HAHAHAHAHA, god no.

51:Love really is a beautiful thing huh? : Uh, sure.

52:Do you miss the way things were six months ago?: I guess, things weren't that different six months ago than they are now.

53:Ever been on a golf cart? : Yes

54:Do you have trust issues? : Yes

55:Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who? : A friend of mine- it was a complicated situation.

56:Do you own something from Hot Topic? : Yes...

57:Do you use chap stick? : Yes

58:Have you ever slapped someone in the face? : Yes, it wasn't my proudest moment.

59:Do you have a little sister? : No.

60:Have you ever been to New York? : Haha, I just went there.

61:Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? : I guess?

62:Have you hugged someone within the last week? : Yes

63:What were you doing at midnight last night? : Sleeping I think.

64:Have you ever regretted kissing someone? : Yes

65:Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? : Yes

66:Were your last three kisses from the same person? : It's been a really long time, but I would say yes.

67:Have you kissed anyone in the last five days? : Ha, no. More like the last five years.

68:Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? : Alone, I hate sharing a room with anyone.

69:Will next Friday be a good one?: I hope so!

Dec. 6th, 2014

This Is What An Anthill Looks Like Inside

Trying this again, since it didn't work the first time. I know it's kind of weird, but it's also really cool- this lady makes sculptures by pouring liquid metal into anthills. When the metal cools she digs it out and there's an art made out of anthills! I honestly never thought about ants all that much until I stumbled on these videos on Youtube. There's a whole lot of them too- apparently it's some kind of popular art/science thing to do? Well, anyway, it's really interesting. If you like this one, just search "anthill art" on Youtube to find more- all kinds of ants have different ways of building the hills.


Dec. 5th, 2014

You Tried This Already

In October of last year, a “Chinese domain name service” contacted me to tell me that there was someone trying to register the domain of this blog- goeskaboominsanejournal to their company and telling me that in order to protect my “brand image” I would need to reigster the name myself. Guess what email I got again this morning? Yep. Same exact content as before, from the same exact guy with the same exact email address. Seriously? They must think I'm dumb as a rock. Well, I guess I can't blame them since the first time I got the email I fell for it and actually responded to it like it was legitimate.

Jim from the Shanghai Branch Office- like I said before, I don't wish you any ill will, but I'm not going to fall for this fraud. Everyone who's ever studied the Internet knows that in general you cannot register a domain name in a country that is not the one they live in, especially for personal use. You're not going to convince me otherwise. Fool me once and all that.

Nov. 25th, 2014

Fic Rec #46

Yeah, yeah, I know, it's a month late. But in all honesty, I wasn't in a good place last month and the idea of reading too much fic was just so unappealing to me. Hopefully this makes up for it. I’m also posting it a bit early because I’m going out of town for the Thanksgiving holiday and may not have Internet access until December, so I figured I’d get this out of the way now.


Moloch’s Self-Improvement Project
Fandom: Sleepy Hollow
Category: Gen
Rating: PG

Moloch finds a book about increasing productivity in your workplace and decides to implement a few of its suggestions in purgatory. The results are absolutely hilarious. Who knew the Lord of Darkness could actually be funny? Just a goofy crack fic.

Non-Critical Malfunction
Fandom: Captain America 2
Category: Slash
Rating: NC-17/R18/Adult
Notes: non-con

How to explain this one… well, you know the Winter Soldier is supposed to be a weapon, right? If something goes wrong with him, then it makes sense he would have to report to Hydra equipment facility to get worked on. But… what if something normal for humans happens to him, and he doesn’t understand, so the technician takes advantage of it? I have to say, this story is extremely well-written, to the point where it’s very uncomfortable to read. If you’re looking for something sexy to read, you might want to give this one a miss, but if you want very visceral psychological mindfuck this is great.

Meet You Halfway
Fandom: Free!
Category: Slash
Rating: NC-17/R18/Adult

Uh… I don’t really know how to describe this one, so I’m just going to cut/paste the summary of the fic itself: Rin has a microdick and is slightly self-conscious about it…but Nitori likes it. The two of them are still ridiculous romantics through and through, though. (Nitorin)

Da Capo
Fandom: Free!
Category: Slash
Rating: R
Notes: Infidelity, dubious consent

A very disturbing fic where Haru finds himself stuck in a time loop. Every time he sleeps with Rin, his life resets itself back to him being 17 years old. It’s not like Groundhog Day, where he gets reset every day- it depends on when he has sex with Rin. I don’t want to give away too much, but this story is incredibly unsettling in its implications and really well-written.

Multi-Chapter Fics

Fandom: Star Trek Reboot
Category: Slash
Rating: Hard R/Low NC-17/R18
Completion Status: 41 chapters, completed

This fic is kind of strange. It is loosely based on events that happened in the lead-up to WWII in Britain, only in space and with Vulcans. Parts of it are very reminiscent of the movie the King’s Speech. Kirk meets someone online, who turns out to be the grieving Prince of the Vulcan Empire. They get married, and royal intrigue happens, as well as one of the most disturbing OC villains I’ve ever come across- a very creepy Vulcan prostitute who finagled her way into positions of

Nov. 9th, 2014

Shoulder Pain Mystery: Solved!

For about a year now, I've had a problem with bad pain in my shoulder. It comes and goes randomly, but when it comes, it can be excruciating, to the point that I can barely do anything, since it's my dominant side. When my shoulder hurts like that, I can't use a mouse, and trying to write anything, even just a signature on a reciept, is very painful. It got to the point a few times that I considered going to the hospital, because I was afraid that something was seriously wrong, but I was also concerned that insurance wouldn't pay for it, or that the doctors would tell me that there's nothing wrong with me. So I dealt with this for a year, always hoping that one day when I woke up I wouldn't have the pain. I had thought it was bursitis, but because I didn't have a fever or any weird discoloration on my skin where the pain was, I was pretty sure it wasn't the potentially fatal bacterial bursitis, so I didn't do anything about it except take painkillers, and occasionally put Mentholatum on my shoulder.

Until yesterday.

A few days ago my mother suggested I get a professional massage, since she thought it would help my pain. I was skeptical at first, but since she was willing to front me the money, I decided it wouldn't hurt anything. So I went to the massage therapist, and as soon as she touched my neck she knew exactly what the problem was.

I had three very deep, hard myofascial trigger points on my neck, that were referring pain to my shoulder every time they got aggravated. She spent about an hour working on extending and stretching out those points, and it was very painful at the time, but now I can say honestly that my shoulder is already feeling better, despite my neck being sore now.

So I have to go back in a month to get the treatment repeated, to help prevent them from coming back, or if they do come back, prevent them from getting to the point where they cause the level of pain I had been enduring from the shoulder.

I'm so happy that I finally have an explanation for why my shoulder does this, it's a huge relief.

Nov. 7th, 2014

Bad Intentions

They say that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and I do think that has happened somewhat in fandom. The whole current “social justice” clusterfuck that's spawned all kinds of bullshit in fandom (the trigger warning disasters, stalking and harassment of writers who don't follow the prescribed ideology of the month, and a number of other situations I could list but won't because then we'd be here until Christmas), for the most part, probably started that way. Well-intentioned people began to want to rid fandom of undesirable elements. And I'm not saying that sarcastically. If you're doing something for fun, most people don't want to run across horrifying racist invective, for example. And let's be realistic- there was some of that. But once they'd run out of really obvious, blatantly offensive things to go after, they found that they weren't satisfied so they went after things that might have been borderline. Again, that's arguably acceptable, But there wasn't as much of that as they'd like, either, so then they turned to fandom as a whole. The result has been several years of stewing resentment on both sides of the issue. The “social justice warriors” are frustrated that no one is listening to their demands (as those demands become ever more onerous and, quite frankly, ridiculous), and the writers are frustrated that they can't write what they want anymore without worrying that someone is going to jump down their throat. I've seen people lose their jobs because they posted slash fics- someone found their IRL identity, called their boss, and complained, all because they thought it was sexist that there were no women in this person's PWP slash fics. I've seen people savage a middle-school-aged kid who was writing her first story, for the reason that she gave a historical person an OC girlfriend. The reason that was so offensive and worthy of calling a middle-schooler a “homophobic cunt?” Because there's some evidence that the historical dude was gay. But overall, that's not what I'm talking about. Regardless of the original intent of these people, it's pretty clear that what we have now has become corrupted and used as a stick to whack people upside the head with.

But that's not what I'm talking about.

Recently, it has come to light that among professional sci-fi writers, someone has been lurking among them that uses these social issues as ammunition in their personal crusade, This person did not start with good intentions. This person's original intention was to fuck shit up, period. And they hurt a lot of people. People lost their jobs, someone attempted suicide, and it created a climate of fear amongst many professional authors. But because this individual used the language of good intentions (they're just trying to end racism and homophobia! They're a good person, honestly), they got a lot of people to go along with it.

Obviously I'm not a professional sci-fi writer. I'm not a professional anything. So I've been observing this from the outside. However, I do feel like it backs up what I've been thinking for a long time. Good intentions aren't enough anymore. Wanting to rid your fandom of racism and sexism and anything else is a noble cause. Doxxing people in pursuit of that goal is... not so noble. Harassing people in pursuit of that goal is... also not so noble. And you might think that you mean well, and you probably do. But your actions provide cover for those that don't mean well, and it leaves a trail of destruction behind them.

No comments on this, guys.

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