|goeskaboom (goeskaboom) wrote,|
@ 2011-03-04 15:35:00
Where did my week go?
This week was supposed to be my spring break. My plans were to enjoy the time off at home- trying to catch up on the sleep I've been missing out on since I went back to university in January, work on some fic, see my friends who are in my home city right now, and get the takeout I can't get down university. I left a week ago today, and it's already Friday afternoon after my week off. Overall, I managed to fulfill a few of my goals- I spent time with my friends, and I've gotten a lot of takeout. But I haven't been sleeping very well, despite the lack of idiots partying all night next door to me, and I haven't been feeling up to working on any fic. I feel like some weird brand of vampire decided to suck all of my inspiration out of my brain. It would be a lot easier for me to work on srs bsns blog posts, but I have a lot of feelings, and I'm not sure how to articulate those feelings all that well.
One thing that I've realized is that I have a lot of internalized trauma from events in my past, that really affect my perception of the world, and I really need to realize if my reaction to something is legitimate or my brain trying to scream “GTFO!” in a response to something that reminds me of something from the past. But that deserves its own post itself, which I don't really feel like typing up today. This isn't meant to be a srs bsns post.
Anyway, I've basically done nothing this entire week, and now that it's almost time for me to return, it really hit me that I'm really fucking lazy. I had all this time to actually do something other than watch videos on the Internet and read fic, but that's seriously all I did. And now I'm really depressed, knowing that I have one more full day before I get sent back to university to enjoy another month and a half of depression and of me wasting my time in useless classes, and procrastinating on things I really need to do. Or, in other words- THE SAME DAMN THING I DID ON MY VACATION.
At least I got spend time with my friends- that was nice, I get so lonely when I'm at university.