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Nov. 26th, 2013

Holiday Preparations

For those of you not in the US, Thanksgiving is on Thursday. As such, it's been insane the past few days trying to get all the food and stuff ready for everything. My grandparents are coming to visit for the holiday tomorrow, and as such, my family has been working very hard to provide for their preferences and dietary needs. And trying to get things that we want as well, for eating and drinking.

So yesterday, my dad decides that we should go to the liquor store to get some whiskey for my grandfather. He has diabetes and cannot drink beer anymore, because of how it turns to sugar in the bloodstream. It is okay for him to have whiskey, however, because it's more distilled. My mother wanted Bailey's Irish Cream and cream sherry- she tends to like sweeter alcohol than my dad, my grandfather, and I do. So we get a list of everything we need and we head off to the shop to get it.

When we get in there, though, there seemed to have been a run on the alcohol, since the store was out of a lot of things. They only had the coffee flavor of Bailey's- my mom hates coffee. They didn't sell the kind of whiskey my dad likes, so he had to buy the cheaper kind, which in my experience tastes like rocket fuel. And they didn't sell sherry of any kind there (because, as I found out later, is less than 15% alcohol, so it can be sold in a normal store instead of the special liquor store).

Now, if I'm being perfectly honest with you, I wasn't entirely sure what sherry tastes like, as I've never had it. So I bought some cognac instead, which is kind of sweet, like how my mom prefers her drinks.

And she wasn't please. “KABOOM, KABOOM'S DAD! I'M NOT DRINKING ANY COGNAC! I TOLD YOU TO GET SHERRY!”

So I yelled back, “THEY DIDN'T SELL IT AT THE STORE.! WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO DO?”

And then she yelled back, “ASK WHERE IT IS, YOU IDIOT!”

What a wonderful family I have.

Aug. 12th, 2012

Parenting for Sadists: Not-So-Grand Grandparents

Part Ten of a series. Since it's gotten so long I am no longer putting links to the other articles at the top of these, so if you want to find them click the Parenting for Sadists tag, they're all there. As usual for the series here, most of the post goes under the cut to protect readers who aren't willing to read discussion of child abuse. Although I will say that this particular article is a lot less... horrible than some of the others. I wouldn't say it's NSFW, but I would caution against reading it in a place of business.

May. 17th, 2012

Parenting for Sadists: Ignorance. Ignorance Everywhere.

Part 9 of a series, click the Parenting for Sadists tag to find parts 1 through 8. This is the last part of the same article I've been dissecting since Part 7, thank Longcat. That fucking article is like gamma radiation for me- if it went on for too much longer I think it would turn me into Kaboom-Hulk and then I'd start smashing the shit out of everything.

As per usual, most of the post goes behind the cut, NSFW, warnings for child abuse, and this time, please be aware that this article contains discussion of suicide, death of adults, and sexual assault as well as the usual discussion of child abuse.

Mar. 25th, 2012

Parenting for Sadists: Liar Liar Pants on Fire

Since this series is getting so long, just click the “parenting for sadists” tag in the sidebar now- it will make things a lot easier. Articles are sorted with the most recent first.

As per usual, most of this post goes behind the cut, to avoid exposing anyone to anything they're not in a place to deal with right now. NSFW, warning for child abuse. This is part 8, I think everyone knows how this goes by now...

Dec. 25th, 2011

The Four Types of People At Church on Christmas Eve

(Alternatively titled Kaboom Is Scrooge)

Yesterday, I went to my mother's church to celebrate Christmas Eve. I really, really dislike attending her church, for a myriad of reasons, but thankfully the things that make her church extremely unpleasent to attend were absent yesterday, probably because it was a holiday and no one really wants to get into that sort of unpleaantness on Christmas. One thing that did stick out to me, though, was the fact that there still was some obnoxiousness, although it seemed to be coming from small pockets of individuals rather than the congregation as a whole. However, it still annoyed me enough that I decided to blog about it. I don't know if that's a good way of dealing with it, or a bad way, considering it's the holidays and I've been actually trying to be less of an asshole lately. But whatever, let's do a rundown.

1. Perfume Miasma Lady: if you've ever been anywhere that large numbers of people gather in a relatively small space, you've probably run into a Perfume Miasma Lady, or her male counterpart, Dude That Takes A Bath In Axe. Both use industrial sized amounts of their fragrance of choice, effectively rendering the immediate area around them extremely difficult to deal with unless you have a gas mask. Now, don't get me wrong, I like to wear perfume. My personal favorites are Hanae Mori Butterfly, Philosophy Amazing Grace, and my personal favorite, which is unfortunately extremely difficult to find now, the Fresh Memoirs of a Geisha perfume, which I received as a gift my final year of middle school. But the difference between me, when I wear perfume, and the Perfume Miasma Lady, is that I don't dump so much on myself that I make life miserable for everyone else around me. A little goes a long way when it comes to perfume, but the Perfume Miasma lady doesn't understand that. There's a Dilbert cartoon that pretty much sums up this kind of person.

Anyway, last night I had the misfortune to end up sitting directly behind a Perfume Miasma Lady. My brother and I could tell immediately. My brother started sneezing like someone had put pepper up his nose, and my eyes started watering. Of course my mother saw this and assumed we were being obnoxious, but really, she was just lucky to be directly under the vent so she got fresh air, while we were stuck with the contaminated air. I thought for sure I was going to have an epic sneeze right in the middle of some important part of the service, but luckily that didn't happen.

2. The Spirit Hss Moved Me! Worshipper: This individual really, really likes church. They think church is totally awesome, and you know what's even more awesome than church? Why, God of course! While TSHMM!W is not as detrimental to physical comfort as the Perfume Miasma Lady, they are irritating in their own way. Mainly because you have to duck to avoid getting whacked upside the head when they feel so enraptured by the music, or the sermon, or whatnot that they have to throw their hands up in the air and wave them like they just don't care. While this did not happen to me, an older man who was sitting two pews in front of us had his glasses knocked off when one of these kinds of people got a little toooo overenthusiastic about the church's rendition of Go Tell It On The Mountain. I really couldn't help it, I started laughing. It made me feel horrible, but it was just so ridiculous I couldn't help it. And now I'm officially a horrible person.

3. Hyperactive Kids: It really wasn't all that long ago that I was a wee little Kaboomlet. I remember the day before Christmas- the anticipation about what you're going to get, wondering if Santa is really going to come, wanting to open the presents right this very minute, and being hopped up on Christmas snacks. I get it, I really do, and normally I actually like kids. But one thing I do not particularly like is three-year-old girls running amok and stomping all over my handbag, which contains my cell phone, my iPod, and several other delicate electronic devices, as well as my money and my portable notebook. Now, I can understand if the kid in question did this by accident- after all, I barely had enough space to put myself down, much less my bag and my coat as well. But this little girl in question just stuck her tongue out at me and kept stomping about like she was Godzilla or something. At least I was able to get my bag out of the way. But still, it made me wonder- if I had done that as a child I would have gotten in trouble- where was this kid's parents?

4. Baby Haters: You know what's even worse than a hyperactive kid? An adult that hates on the hyperactive kids when they're actually not being all that hyperactive. There was one particularly wiggly baby a little ways down from where I was sitting, and he kept grabbing at things and making funny sounds- he was freaking adorable. One woman kept shushing him though, throughout the service and sending death glares at his mother. Lady, the kid isn't crying, he's just goofing around with the velvet bows and talking to himself. Yeah, it's a bit distracting, but seriously? He's not screaming his head off and he's not wreaking havoc. All he's doing is learning and entertaining himself (and me!). Grow up and realize that you're at a damn church. There tends to be babies at church.

Ah well. Merry Christmas, anyway.

Dec. 18th, 2011

Parenting for Sadists: Apparently I'm A Socialist Now

Since this is the seventh part of this series, I think everyone knows the drill by now- most of the content goes under the cut, warnings are in place for child abuse and emotional manipulation, and Michael Pearl is a douchecanoe. There, did I cover all my bases? Good.

Nov. 11th, 2011

Parenting for Sadists: I Think You Will Find It Is YOU Who Is Emotional Manipulation!

As per usual for this series, NSFW, warning for child abuse, most of the post is behind the cut.

Sep. 5th, 2011

Parenting for Sadists: Not Even Church Is Safe, Apparently


FULL DISCLAIMER: Copyright law states that I have to do this, and put the address, website, and contact information for the sick fucks who wrote this mess that I will be quoting heavily from. I have placed it at the bottom of this article, but for the love of everything that you hold dear, DO NOT ACTUALLY CLICK THE LINKS. These... “people” (and I use that word in the loosest sense of the term) do not deserve any more traffic. The citation links in the paragraph do not link to their website, and are there for corroboration, but I would advise against clicking on them, either. I wanted to take a shower after reading that, and I want to take another shower after typing this up. This is some seriously sick, twisted shit. Whatever you do, DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING WRITTEN HERE AS AN ENDORSEMENT OF THESE METHODS. I would hope that would be obvious, though.

VERY NSFW. WARNING FOR CHILD ABUSE As usual for this series, most of the post goes behind the cut so that I don't accidentally expose anyone to something they don't think they can handle.

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

Aug. 16th, 2011

Parenting for Sadists: Anderson Cooper vs. the Pearls

Part One
Part Two
Part Three

I'm working on another article dissecting the Pearl's articles, but it daunts me, it's so graphic. I can't really work on it for more than a few minutes at a time without feeling sick to my stomach. But Anderson Cooper did an exposé on Michael and Debi Pearl, which has very good analysis. Please be aware that these videos are very graphic and show the damage done to a person's body from following the methods outlined in To Train Up A Child.

Video Here

Jul. 7th, 2011

Parenting for Sadists: Epically Missing the Point

Part 3 in a series

Ugh. These articles take so much mental effort and I usually end feeling a lot worse than I had when I started, but I've stated before: I might not have a religious morality like people like to screech about. But I do have standards, and these people violate every single one of those principles.

Full Disclaimer: Copyright law states that I have to do this, and put the address, website, and contact information for the sick fucks who wrote this mess that I will be quoting heavily from. I have placed it at the bottom of this article, but for the love of everything that you hold dear, DO NOT ACTUALLY CLICK THE LINKS. These... “people” (and I use that word in the loosest sense of the term) do not deserve any more traffic. The citation links in the paragraph do not link to their website, and are there for corroboration, but I would advise against clicking on them, either. I wanted to take a shower after reading that, and I want to take another shower after typing this up. This is some seriously sick, twisted shit. Whatever you do, DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING WRITTEN HERE AS AN ENDORSEMENT OF THESE METHODS. I would hope that would be obvious, though.

VERY NSFW. WARNING FOR CHILD ABUSE. You all probably know the drill by now- most content of this post goes behind the cut, but don't expect this for everything, blah blah blah... eh, you're smart, you'll figure it out.

May. 25th, 2011

Parenting For Sadists: How To Fail at Sex Ed And Psychology (And Being A Decent Human Being)

Part Two in a series.

I was going to do this earlier, but I felt ill every time I started working it. I just can't fathom anyone treating their children this way- I'm not a mother, but I do know that good parents don't need to beat the shit out of their kids to raise them well. And because the extended family will be welcoming a new member any time now, this is heavily weighing on my mind. I'm not worried about the parents-to-be falling into this stuff, they're not religious and probably wouldn't get involved with a bunch of nutjobs that believe you should beat your babies, but just the idea of the mini-one coming into a world where there are people that honestly believe this is OK gives me the shivers.

FULL DISCLAIMER: Copyright law states that I have to do this, and put the address, website, and contact information for the sick fucks who wrote this mess that I will be quoting heavily from. I have placed it at the bottom of this article, but for the love of everything that you hold dear, DO NOT ACTUALLY CLICK THE LINKS. These... “people” (and I use that word in the loosest sense of the term) do not deserve any more traffic. The citation links in the paragraph do not link to their website, and are there for corroboration, but I would advise against clicking on them, either. I wanted to take a shower after reading that, and I want to take another shower after typing this up. This is some seriously sick, twisted shit. Whatever you do, DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING WRITTEN HERE AS AN ENDORSEMENT OF THESE METHODS. I would hope that would be obvious, though.

VERY NSWF. TRIGGER WARNING FOR CHILD ABUSE OF MULTIPLE KINDS. Like before, I usually don't do this for blog posts that aren't fiction, but because the content in here is so severe, I'm putting it behind a cut. The reason this whole thing took so long was because I kept feeling ill whenever I tried to work on it. This isn't the kind of thing I like to blog about, but it's necessary. I might not be the most moral person on the planet, but I have standards. Exposing cruelty to children is one standard I will uphold.

Apr. 23rd, 2011

Parenting for Sadists

Part One in a two-part series

Full disclaimer: Copyright law states that I have to do this, and put the address, website, and contact information for the sick fucks who wrote this mess that I will be quoting heavily from. I have placed it at the bottom of this article, but for the love of everything that you hold dear, DO NOT ACTUALLY CLICK THE LINKS. These... “people” (and I use that word in the loosest sense of the term) do not deserve any more traffic. The citation links in the paragraph do not link to their website, and are there for corroboration, but I would advise against clicking on them, either. I wanted to take a shower after reading that, and I want to take another shower after typing this up. This is some seriously sick, twisted shit. Whatever you do, DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING WRITTEN HERE AS AN ENDORSEMENT OF THESE METHODS. I would hope that would be obvious, though.

VERY NSFW. TRIGGER WARNING FOR CHILD ABUSE. I almost never do this for blog posts that aren't fiction, but I'm warning and putting the rest of this behind a cut so that you can make a choice as to whether or not you want to view the rest of this content. This is a two-part article, broken up for length.

Apr. 6th, 2011

Paternal control?


So I found this two-part article on the Internet, and it's supposedly a “case study” in why fathers have failed to protect their daughters in our current society. While there's no doubt that some parents do fail to protect their children, this guy's logic is so far off-course it's practically on the moon. The study is called Living in Sodom, and it's apparently three parts, but I cannot seem to track down the first part. Instead, here's the first part and the second part.

This study draws heavily on the story of Lot, from the Bible. Now, I'm no Biblical scholar and I haven't regularly gone to church for anything other than weddings, funerals, and to keep my mom from disconnecting the Internet when I'm at home since I was thirteen years old. I haven't identified as Christian since I was fourteen. But even back when I was Christian, the story of Lot always bothered me. So, to keep some random people (who were really angels) from getting raped, he just goes, “Oh yeah, rape my daughters instead?” That, my friends, is one hell of a shitty father. And then, after God destroyed their city, his daughters (the same ones he was going to give to an angry mob) decided that they were going to sleep with him, to make sure that their family line would progress. Now, uh, I'm not exactly a geneticist, but I do know enough about biology that, uh, “keeping it in the family” isn't the best way to go about preserving your family line. But because I'm Really hoping that readers of my blog know why incest is a bad thing I'm not going to get too much into this, because, quite honestly, it squicks me right the fuck out.

The first part of this article is all about how in the 19th century, women were under the protection of their dads, their brothers, their husbands, and their sons, because it was believed that they wouldn't be able to protect themselves. There's a country that has laws like this today, in 2011. It's called Saudi Arabia. I'm not going to say much more on that particular subject, because I've never been there before, and I honestly don't know much more about their culture. But I will say this: the kind of people who have written this article, and who would take this article's advice to heart, aren't exactly the kind of people who would go “SAUDI ARABIA FUCK YEAH!” They're more the type who think that the heathens over there need to be converted.

Here is an excerpt from the article:
The idea of an unprotected woman was virtually unknown 150 years ago. In nineteenth century Occidental culture, women simply did not travel alone because there was a cultural assumption that women needed protection. If women were traveling over land or sea, they were sure to have a male escort to see them safely to their destination.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not some raging feminazi who hates men just because they're male. But I am also a grown adult, and damn it, if I want to go to Chipotle by myself, I'm going to the damn Chipotle by myself. And if I'm going to take the AMTRAK home from university, well, I'm going to do that, because it would be a huge inconvenience for my family to have to come and get me, and again, I'm a grown adult. I can get from Point A to Point B by myself. Unless I have a lot of luggage. Then I MIGHT need someone to help me carry it. But other than that? I know how to travel.

The rest of the first part of the article is a bunch of stereotypes of non-Christian fathers, and even a few of Christian fathers who don't fulfill his expectations of what a dad should do for his daughter. Most of that is just stupid, or redundant, so I'm not going to touch on it in this post. But here's the very tail-end of the first part:

Most daughters do not understand the biblical vision because fathers have not known what it is, because when they should be studying and preparing to deliver the messages, they are out playing golf or engaged in some kind of entertainment. They just do not know what to say to their daughters, because they have nothing to say. They have nothing to say, because they have not filled their minds with scriptural thoughts regarding their daughters.
And, whatever they do have to say, they do not communicate it in enough detail and over a long enough time for her to understand it. How long is enough? Communication of the biblical vision to a daughter needs to be from birth and continue every day of her life thereafter.
A father should be calling her to a rich life as a helpmeet (Genesis 2:18), a keeper at home (Titus 2:4), a trainer of the next generation (Ephesians 6:4), a demonstration of unfading beauty (I Peter 3:4), and a domestic entrepreneur (Proverbs 31). My view is that every daughter needs to have these passages of scripture memorized, so that she is equipped to detect influences which would divert her from her creation-order calling.

You know what, dude? My dad hates golfing, he only goes because his friends like it. And I'm really glad my dad didn't fill his head with “scriptural thoughts” regarding me- did you forget the story you reportedly based this on? Yeah, if that's what you think parents should be basing their feelings toward their children on, then I hope to Longcat you don't have children. And if you do, someone needs to call Child Protective Services on your ass. Because that ain't right, and someone needs a visit from Chris Hansen. And my dad was the one who pretty much raised me, BTW- he didn't “never have anything to say to me.” He was the one who taught me to use a computer at a very young age. He was the one who taught me to read. And during the worst period of my life (which I'm not going to go into here, because that would end up being about 10k words), he was the only one who helped me through it. I care very much about my dad, and it's quite frankly, insulting to see the man who raised me considered a horrible person because he didn't treat me like I was three years old when I grew up.

And the second part starts out even worse than the last one:

Even though the feminist agenda cheerily shouts, “You can have it all,” and “You’ve come a long way, baby,” daughters have a natural bent toward hopelessness. Everywhere they turn, they are confronted with their inadequacy. Whether the role model is Barbie or Brittany or Hillary, daughters can easily fall prey to comparisons that would lead them astray—to desires that would undo them.

Uh, bro, if your daughters are naturally bent towards hopelessness, you need to get them to a psychiatrist, pronto. I'm not saying that to be facetious, either- I'm very serious. I've dealt with despair my entire life- it wasn't until I was seventeen years old that we learned the extent of my despair, and what was causing it. And you know who was the one who helped me get the help I needed? It was my dad. He was the one who got me to the psychiatrist when I needed to go. That's not exactly ignoring me, now is it?

But the thing that freaks me out the most about this part of the study is the fact that he claims the reasons that Lot's daughters slept with their father was because:

Lot’s eldest daughter grew panicked by lack of hope. She saw no human means for the fulfillment of her longings as a woman.
This is then followed by this paragraph:

Second, Lot’s daughter was filled with fear. She was afraid for the future of her heritage, and she acted upon those fears. This is the same fear that grips the hearts of every daughter in every age. She fears that somehow she will be left out of marriage and family. Every young woman I have ever known at some point comes to struggle with this boogeyman. It goes like this: “No one will ever love me”; “there are zero men around that I could want to marry”; “I am not attractive enough to attract a good man”; “the pool of men that I would be interested in is too small....”

Yes, I may never be able to bear children. I run the risk of passing on some less-than-desirable genetics. There are times that I think that no one will ever want to be with me. But I can safely say that I've never seen... that as an solution. All I can ask is, what the hell kind of teenagers do you know if you think this is commonplace? Because, uh, I think you might be required by law to report that to CPS if they're under the age of eighteen, and if they are eighteen or older? Then you should probably still call the cops, because that's not normal.

And then there's this rather amusing paragraph later on:

These two girls were virgins in body, but they were already debauched in mind. They had long since grown accustomed to obscenity and unrestrained luridness, so, up in the cave on the mountainside, they seized the thinnest tissue of excuses and the story ends in a foul orgy of drunkenness and incest. Lot had nothing but heartbreak and grief to show for the years in Sodom. The Lord said, “For whoever would save his life will lose it,” (Matt 16:25a {RSV}). So Lot, trying to get the best out of both worlds, lost all and has become for all time the picture of the Christian who is saved, “but only as through fire,” (1:Cor 3:15b {RSV}). He has nothing but wasted years to look back on and eternity ahead.

Ha. This guy obviously rarely, if ever, actually interacts with those of us from the Internet Generation. He's obviously never strayed into certain parts of the Internet. If he had, he'd know that this “debauched in the mind” thing is pretty commonplace among teenagers and young adults. And that's kind of sad, but really scary at the same time, because he seems to think he's qualified to counsel people on very serious issues in their lives, while at the same time spouting off this kind of stuff.

Holy shit. Fundies scare me on a good day, but this is seriously one of the most terrifying things I've ever read. Please tell me that this dude doesn't work with teenagers. Or adults. Or anyone other than the nice men in white coats.

Nov. 11th, 2010

Sharon, Kanou, and the Great Cake Caper

In Chapter Three of International Affairs 2: Living Will, Kanou explains to Ayase about Sharon's past, and her family life, including a story about the time that he and Sharon stole the wedding cake from her dad's wedding, much to the ire of her new (and soon-to-be former) stepmother. What Kanou didn't explain was exactly WHY Sharon felt the need to steal the cake, and why the marriage lasted barely 48 hours before the divorce.

Rating: PG for mentions of child abuse and violence against a six-year-old.
In an inversion from the main story, text in Italics is spoken in Japanese.


And that's the story of Sharon, Kanou, and the Great Cake Caper. This will not be posted at FFnet, because it's barely fanfiction in the strictest sense of the term- the one canon character is barely recognizable (well, duh, seeing as he's four in this, not thirty-five). However, this will be posted at AO3 because the series function there allows me to connect it with the other two.

There will be more Sharon stories, although very few of them will have Kanou in them, the exception right now being one. However, warning in advance- it's a lot more depressing than this one, since it focuses on the deaths of three people who both of them were connected to.

Thanks for reading!