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May. 16th, 2014

Update

Guess who’s still unemployed?

Yep. Me. I had the job interview and they decided to go with someone else. Which I guess I kind of expected. But it's still sad.
Tags:

May. 12th, 2014

Job Hunting. Again.

I may have done something fairly stupid, that might have ended up screwing me over in the end. I applied for another job.

I have been unemployed since last July. Which wasn't a big surprise- I had to quit one job in order to go on my trip, and the other job was experiencing financial problems and as I was just a contract employee I was let go. But I wasn't doing nothing, I was attending class (and hating every second of it). Now that I'm in a different course department, and now that the semester is over, I was going to have nothing to do for several weeks until my summer session starts (which I do not recommend for anyone- I'm only doing this so that I can graduate in a reasonable amount of time.

Anyway, moving on. I applied for another job, which may ultimately have thrown things out of whack. But I do know that I will not be completed with my degree by the time my parents leave, and I will need to pay for somewhere to live. I also need to start saving money to pay for my plane ticket out of the country, as well as two new cell phones (one for the remainder of my time here, as mine is beginning to go bad and the other for when I make it to Japan) and a new computer.

I will be getting a phone call some time this week if I pass the screening process. Then I will have an interview, and maybe I will get the job.

Jul. 29th, 2013

帰りました

As of yesterday, I’m back in the United States. Instead of being relieved to be home, however, I feel a sort of sense of loss.

Maybe it was because I was actually happy for once when I was in Japan. I didn’t wake up every morning full of despair that I was going to have to face another day- dredge myself up out of bed to another day of mind-numbing boredom at work or school or both, only to come home and try to numb the numbness even more by wasting time on the Internet in a vain attempt to stimulate my mind. Maybe it was because the more time I spent in Japan, the more it started to look like I could actually have a future there, a better life. All through elementary through high school, everyone told us that America was the land of the opportunity- people from all over the world came here to have a better life- my ancestors did. But at the same time, I started to feel like I might actually be able to have some sort of life in Japan- I could get a job with a company without a college degree, I could teach English or computer science without a degree, from what I was told.

An acquaintance of mine told me that the job market in Japan is so much better than in America, and they told me that I’d be able to get work. He suggested that I come back to America for a while, then try to apply for immigration permits. And I have to say that the suggestion has merit, and it’s very tempting. I could have a better life. I could actually have a life in general, not just one where I sort of… exist, like what I’ve been doing for the past twenty-one years.

But, it’s futile. I’m going to stay in college in the US, and by the time I manage to graduate the opportunities will probably all be gone. I will likely live out the rest of my life the way I’ve lived it up to this point now.

It frustrates me. I saw, for seven wonderful weeks, that I could have a future, that I could actually be happy somewhere. I haven’t even been back in the US for twenty-four hours, before my parents are getting on my case about graduating from school, doing x, doing y, doing z. It’s enough to drive a person out of their mind.

Finally, I’d like to end with a song I sang at karaoke one night, that sums up my feelings on this matter pretty well. The translation isn’t entirely accurate, but the song is very difficult to properly translate into English, and it is more or less correct, just not the exact words at the right time.

Jul. 18th, 2013

Coming to an End

Ten days from today I'm going back home to the United States. Before I can do that, though, I need to get about ninety billion pounds of stuff from Akita to Tokyo via the Shinkansen. I did it before, I can do it again... although it was not fun the first time and will probably be even less fun this time, now that I've got even more crap to deal with. I also have to take a taxi from the university to the train station, which I've done before. It was expensive. Then I will need to take another taxi from Tokyo Station to the hotel I will be staying at for the two days I have left before I go back home, and that's going to be even MORE expensive, since Narita International Airport is fairly far away from the station.

Now that my time in Japan is coming to an end, I'm sort of struggling with the implications of that. Before this trip, countries that weren't the United States might as well have been the moon, they were that far out of reach. I am twenty-one years old. Until this trip I'd never even gone over the border to Canada or Mexico, let alone gone across the world. Most of my friends have left the country at one point or another- plenty of them were born in a country other than the US. I kind of miss some things about home, like being able to have all of my stuff with me, and sleeping in my own bed without my roommate waking me up at 3:00 AM because her alarm clock malfunctioned. But at the same time, I am kind of sad. If this trip has shown me one thing, it's that traveling internationally is expensive. My savings account is almost cleaned out now, and that's just from trying to do my day-to-day life. It took me a litle over a decade to get that much money saved. Granted, I was very young for the majority of that time, but still- it looks like it will be quite some time before I can even afford to go out of the state I live in, let alone go out of the country again. And if something unexpected happens, where I need to pay a lot of money, I'm basically screwed. It probably doesn't help that I've come to a decision regarding what I'm going to do with regards to my jobs.

I a m fairly sure I'm going to quit one- the lower-paying, longer-hours one.

The last semester showed me something: I cannot work two jobs, go to school full time, and expect to be able to keep my health intact. The illnesses I contracted multiple times throughout the last semester showed me that. It has happened before, but constantly despairing is not good for my health, I've learned that the hard way in the past. Last semester, I was dealing with some serious issues with regards to my classes and jobs. It seemed like no matter what I did I just kept digging myself deeper and deeper. I felt like I was running out of time, like nothing I did was going to make a difference, so what the hell was I doing bothering with college, when I was just going to be stuck working in my miserable job for the rest of my life? I was running out of ways to convince myself that things were not completely hopeless. As it is I'm not entirely sure that it's still not the case, but this trip to Japan has really helped me get away from the other university and helped me put things in perspective. And I don't really like what I've realized. If anything, I've realized that I will probably be miserable for the rest of my life, unless something drastically changes.

Obviously I cannot stay in Japan, but I don't particularly want to go back to the US either. If I could somehow get all my stuff shipped over here, and get the Japanese government to grant me permanent resident status. Maybe I'll be able to get another retail job or something. Of course, this is all wishful thinking- I was born in the US, and I'll likely die in the US. At least I managed to leave at least once in my lifetime, so I can check one thing off my bucket list.

I know I sound really depressed and miserable here, and that's really not what I'm going for. I actually am happy at the moment, just kind of sad that my trip is coming to a close. I don't even really mind being broke, since it's been a good trip. I can only hope I can come back someday, without going bankrupt.

May. 12th, 2013

They Say Bad Luck Comes In Threes...

First, I contracted strep throat.

Yesterday, I crashed and possibly totaled my car. I seriously thought I was going to die.

I was driving on a notoriously treacherous stretch of road up where I live, in a violent downpour. The people in front of me suddenly stopped in the middle of the highway (why, I have no fucking idea, the nearest stoplight was about half a mile down the road). I tried to hit the breaks, but my steering locked and my car hydroplaned into them. They (and their tank of a van that’s three years older than me, according to the police report) were perfectly fine. I somehow managed to make it through without any serious injuries other than hitting my head on the steering wheel on impact, thankfully with nothing more than a bit of a headache, but my car… well, the KaboomMobile probably isn’t going anywhere for a while. Plus the cops held me at fault even though I wasn’t the dumbfuck that came to a full stop in the middle of the goddamn highway- in a 60 MPH zone, in pouring down rain, no less.


So now I have to pay for a huge ticket, as well as costly repairs and possibly a new car if it’s not fixable. And I’m going to Japan in exactly a month as of yesterday. I don’t know how I’m going to pay for all of this, especially since today was my last day at Job A until I get back from Japan. I might have to take a temp job, or sell my knitting or something, although I hope it doesn’t come down to that. If the car is totaled, I’m probably not going to get much from insurance, since the car is over 10 years old.

Honestly, though, I think I’m lucky that no one was more seriously hurt. I really thought I was going to die. A few seconds before impact, the only thing I could think of was “fuck, I’m going to die and I’m not going to get to go to Japan. Maybe the university will give my parents the money back.”

They say bad luck comes in threes. I’m really scared to find out what’s going to happen next.

May. 4th, 2013

Strep Throat

I've been feeling like shit since last Wednesday, and today I finally went to the doctor after trying to drink orange juice this morning felt like I tried to deep-throat a cactus. The doctor didn't even bother with a test, she took one look at my throat and said "Kaboom, you have a terrible infection." She did do the test anyway, and about twenty minutes ago I got the results emailed to me. It's strep.

The good news is: no work or class for the next 48 hours since I'm extremely contagious right now.

The bad news is: I'm essentially quarantined for the next 48 hours, my throat hurts like a bitch, and it's extremely painful to try to eat or drink anything that isn't lukewarm tea. Since I'm having trouble swallowing solids, I can't take the antibiotic in pill format, I'm taking this absolutely horrendous liquid that tastes like a cross between some crazy person's idea of cotton candy and old gym socks. Just even thinking about it is kicking my gag reflex back into gear, but my larynx is so swollen right now that trying to take antibiotic pills would probably result in me choking to death.

I didn't even realize strep throat was a thing adults could even get. The last time I had strep, I was in grade school. I thought it was a childhood disease, but apparently even adults can get it. Lucky me.

Apr. 26th, 2013

Misery

I really hate this time of year. Not because I don't like spring as a concept, but because I have been sneezing nonstop for the past week thanks to the trees that decided to bukkake my car, and the street, and my house, and the entire campus, and the entire shopping district that one of my jobs is in... you get the picture. I'm also trying not to drown in the tidal wave of end-of-semester projects that are being dumped on me. This happens at the end of every semester. There is a week or two where I start to wonder if this is really worth it. I feel like a hamster on one of those little ferris-wheel things they run in. They make the wheel thing spin around and around and around, but they don't actually go anywhere.

That's what I feel like. And it doesn't help that I'm doing very poorly in all of my classes this semester with the exception of geology. Which is... worrying, to say the least, especially since I've taken this same fucking IT class multipe times thanks to my university's bullshit policies. I mean, I like rocks, but I'm not majoring in geology. Maybe I should switch.

It's getting very difficult to motivate myself to do anything anymore, and it scares me. I'm hoping the trip to Japan this summer will help, but I'm at the point where I kind of doubt it. Someone could show up and give me a billion dollars and I would be hard-pressed to get excited about it for more than a few seconds. It seems like the only emotion I'm capable of feeling anymore is... despair.

I've felt like this in the past. It is not fun, andI really don't want to go back to that. But that's what I fear is happening.

Jan. 18th, 2013

Some Days I Just Need A Drink

You ever have one of those days where you can’t decide whether or not you want to destroy all humans, punch certain people in the face, go to sleep forever, or just drink yourself stupid?

Yeah. I’ve had one of those days.

I’m leaning towards drinking myself stupid at the moment, although punching a few certain individuals in the face is having its merits too. Maybe I’ll get drunk and THEN do some punching.
Yeah. It’s not been a good week. First we were supposed to have snow. Then there was no snow. Now it’s colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra, as my grandfather would say, and classes start again Tuesday, when the temperatures are supposed to be in the range of 18 degrees F. I’ve also been dealing with some incredibly ignorant morons at work, to the point where I’m ready to ragequit. If I have to explain how the Internet works to one more person I will not be responsible for my actions.

Jan. 12th, 2013

IMPORTANT: Fraud Alert

Yesterday, I heard about something that disturbed me a great deal, and because of the sensitive nature of this... issue, I cannot actually name-drop the “organization” responsible- they are running a targeted harassment campaign against anyone who dares to speak against them and are threatening legal action if you so much as annoy them. Considering I don't want to spend a bunch of time fighting off hordes of angry nutjobs and don't have enough money for a lawyer, I am going to keep this as informative as possible whilst still being vauge enough to maintain plausible deniability. If you think that you may have been targeted by this “organization,” please seek help. If you have been suckered in, get out while you still can, and possibly contact a lawyer. I cannot stress the seriousness of this enough- you have been scammed out of your money, you are being taken advantage of, and you may be involved in some illegal business dealings that could lead to you being prosecuted under various US laws, and possibly various UK laws. You could be damaging your reputation and your future career prospects.

There is an... uh, “company,” and I use the term in the loosest sense possible, that has been going around blogging websites like tumblr, Livejournal, and Blogspot attempting to recruit IT professionals to help them create a video game. They are funding this thing entirely through donated money, scamming many well-meaning people who want to help create this game. Never mind that they are shooting for a 3D RPG, on the level of Skyrim or something similar, and that their donation goal is laughably low for a game of that level. None of the people in charge of this project know anything about what they are doing, and I think on some level, they realize that- that's why they are contacting people who actually do have know-how and asking them for help.

They do this by appealing to their target's sense of fairness and social justice- this game is supposedly going to include groups traditionally left out of game design. A lot of people hear about this, go “oh, that's cool! I hope it goes through, and I hope it works! Maybe I'll donate!” There's nothing wrong with that, but that's also where things get hairy.

The group is apparently run by a virulently racist asshole who has done similar things in the past, claiming to be involved with work directed towards helping some marginalized group or another. They capitalize on the goodwill of people who want to help out their fellow human beings, collect large sums of money, then buggers off with said money. It is a scam, and a right nasty one at that. They take advantage of people's altruism only to screw them over, making things even more complicated for the group they screwed over in the future. No one wants to donate to a cause that has burned them before, so why would they want to do it again?

Not only is this group running a scam, but they fully intend to capitalize on the donated time of the professionals and students they are asking for help- they are, after all, allegedly making a video game. The individual that approached me with this information indicated that this organization intends to make its “volunteers” sign a contract for their work. By signing this contract, you are essentially indenturing yourself to these people for “as long as it takes to make the game.” While my informant was not sure whether or not this contract would be legally binding or not, it is best to err on the side of caution. If the contract does turn out to be a valid, legally binding contract, you may have just screwed yourself over- you agreed to work for free, and to not find other work, for any different company, until the game is completed. If there is no game, well... it doesn't take a genius to figure out the problems that could cause.

Once again, while I do not know the exact veracity of these claims, what I saw was enough to give me serious pause. If you think you may have signed something like this, please seek help from a contract lawyer or contact the Department of Labor (or whatever you have in your country- like I said, I do not know whether or not this would violate laws outside of the United States but I wouldn't be surprised if it would).

This link is to the Employment Development Department of California. While it is only valid for California residents, it is a good starting place for figuring out what to do next. Your state probably has something similar.

This link is to Crimestoppers in the UK, where you can report a fraud if you are in the United Kingdom. Again, I am not sure if this would have applied to anyone outside of the United States, but it does not hurt to check on it.

All in all, I just want everyone to stay safe.

Nov. 12th, 2012

Boycott Black Friday?

Apparently there's some sort of petition going around telling people to boycott the Black Friday sales at various stores. They give a number of reasons for this- do we really need a bunch of crap anyway? Why should we go be part of a stampede just to go get cheap stuff? And what about the workers? It's not fair to them, especially if they need to be there on Thanksgiving!

No. Stop. As someone who currently works a minimum-wage job (although now that I've been there for over a year, I get $0.75 above the federal minimum wage), as well as a better paying job, you clearly do not understand Black Friday.

Yes, it sucks if you have to work on Black Friday, even moreso if you have to work on Thanksgiving. But if you boycott Black Friday, you are harming the workers at those places. You may not realize this if you have never worked a low-wage job, but we're not salaried employees. If you don't work, you don't get paid. That's why, at my job, if you are being disciplined for your behavior your hours get cut. At a lot of places, the employees need Black Friday so that they can afford things like their rent and food, as well as other things that are not essential to survival. Some places will give their employees hazard pay on Black Friday as well, because of the fact that when you have people lining up outside the store a week beforehand, it can get kind of crazy in there. Also, if you have to work on Thanksgiving itself getting things set up? Your boss is legally obligated to pay you time and a half, because it's a federal holiday (found that out when I ended up getting time and a half on Fourth of July).

Also, Black Friday is an opportunity for these minimum-wage workers to be able to afford things that they might not be able to afford at other times in the year because it is on sale. Last year, I had asked for Black Friday off because I had relatives in town, and I was able to go hit up the mall and computer store to buy some nice things. Last year, I was able to buy a pair of $110 pants for $30. I was able to buy some electronic equipment I needed for a lot less. Computers, which I think everyone will agree are a necessity for modern life, will go on sale for as low as $99.

If you really want to make a difference and help support the economy? Do Small Business Saturday the day after Black Friday. It is an event sponsored by American Express, the credit card company, to encourage people to support small businesses in their area. It also, arguably, makes a bigger impact on the economy than Black Friday anyway, because small businesses are the largest creators of jobs in this country. Yeah, Wal-Mart and Microsoft employ a lot of people, but Bob's Country Store creates jobs in areas where these larger corporations aren't a presence.

Here's a link if you want to learn more about it.

Sorry for the long rant, guys, it's just that the whole “Black Friday is evil!” thing is incredibly short-sighted and usually said by people who have never had to work a low-paying job a day in their lives. Yes, working retail on busy days sucks. It sucks a lot. But if it's how you get paid, you don't complain, at least not to your boss! If you really want to make a difference, do Small Business Saturday and support local shops. You can get some really cool stuff and help support the job creators in your area.

If you do not live in America, I encourage you to see if there's anything similar in your country- at the very least you might get some cool stuff out of it.

Nov. 7th, 2012

Post-Election WTF at Work

So two of my coworkers got in a screaming, stuff-throwing fight about the presidential election today. And my parents are pretty miffed at each other for the same reason.

One of my neighbors has put up ALL the Romney signs in protest.

I'm just glad I don't have to hear any more stupid political ads during my commute.

I actually do want to write some analysis about it, but I'm way too sick to think about much other than sleep right now.

Oct. 20th, 2012

Rude!

Near where I work, there is a very expensive, high-end spa and salon. Because it is so expensive, I have never gone there (I do kind of need to eat), but I was planning on doing so around the holidays when I get my bonus, because then I'll actually be able to afford it. They have a massage package that sounds absolutely lovely, and my back has been hurting a lot lately. But anyway, my health issues aren't the topic of this post.

Apparently, this weekend that place is doing a special promotion for people who work in the same shopping district. Unfortunately even with the special discount it's still out of my price range (I've been working a bit less lately, both because I've been feeling poorly and because I need to do my classwork at some point). But I appreciate the idea, and was grateful to the lady that came into my workplace to let us know about it.

At least, I was until she turned to me and said that a facial would help my acne problems.

NO, REALLY? I had NO IDEA I had acne! I have totally never noticed the zillion blackheads that are all over my face, and I had no idea that I do get big honkin' zits thanks to my stupid medication! I have just been waiting for some random woman to come up to me and point it out!

Although, honestly, even though this post sounds angry? I'm not all that angry. I was just caught off-guard by it. Seriously, people, if you're trying to drum up business, don't tell your potential customers “LOL U HAVE ZITS!”

Oct. 4th, 2012

Oh Goddammit

Just once, I'd like to have an entire week where something doesn't go catastrophically wrong. Is that too much to ask? Apparently so.

Memo to self: instruct coworkers on the dangers of clicking on strange attachments in emails from people they don't know. It will save a lot of time, effort, and stress in the long run.

Sep. 6th, 2012

Week One

Not that anyone really cares, but here's what's been going on in my life since classes started on August 27th.

Traffic: Traffic sucks. I live in a part of the country that's fairly notorious for its terrible traffic problems, and I have two classes at the satellite campus of my university, which is approximately an hour away from my house, assuming that there's not been a car crash on the highway that backs things up. So far, I have learned why road rage is such a problem. It is very frustrating to be stuck in what is essentially a parking lot, or stuck behind a stupid trash truck or something. And while there is a shuttle bus that goes from the main campus of the university to the satellite campus, it does not run on a schedule that makes sense for me, especially if I have to work beforehand. It is much easier for me to just drive, even though I don't particularly like to drive and gas is expensive.

Work: And by work, I mean both work I get paid for as well as classwork. As usual, I'm working a lot of hours every week, mainly because I'm the only one that does any work around there anyway (heh). But as for classwork? It's two weeks into the school year and I already have four papers. I am only taking four classes, and my geology class doesn't have one. That means I have two papers due within two days of each other for ONE class. What the heck, professor? Seriously.

Health Issues: Thankfully I seem to have avoided the Salmonella Poisoning Grudgematch, although I did contract a mild cold from one of my coworkers. For once, it seems that it hasn't hit me as hard as it usually does, which is a good thing. However, I had a very stupid accident in my house which left me with severe, excruciating back pain. Apparently I can fall down one stair and throw my back out. What the hell. I am doing somewhat better today, but only after taking a lot of pain medication for it, and I'm' still unsure whether or not it's a good idea to drive. D:

Sep. 1st, 2012

Kaboom Wants To Quit Already

The fall 2012 semester started last Monday. Yet another semester of working my ass off for no apparent benefit or usefulness towards my future career. Another four months of trying to do my homework in the few moments where I'm not working myself to death at my job. Another four months of being overworked and underpaid.

In case you can't tell, I'm not in the best of moods right now. I'm kind of sick again (thankfully I don't think it's the Salmonella Poisoning Grudgematch), and I've been working full-time this past week while trying to go to class and having to commute to the university's satellite campus, which is an hour away from my house. I hate driving on the best of days, so it's not exactly conducive to calm Kaboom.

Anyway, I don't really want to do this if I can avoid it, but the Lawn may be going on semi-hiatus until December. I'm not making anything official yet, but we'll have to see how much free time I have. If I'm still stuck working full time, and trying to complete my assignments while going to class, I might be too tired and burned out to do a whole lot of blogging. Personally I'd prefer that it doesn't come to that, and it will be the very last resort if it does. But just as a heads-up, don't be surprised if the monthly post goes down to around four or five posts (including the fic rec) per month. If I do end up having to put the Lawn on hiatus, it will go down to just the fic rec every month. Like I said, this is a last resort and hopefully it won't come to this, since blogging is one of the ways I can calm myself down so that I don't turn into Kaboom-Hulk, but as it is I need to focus on my classwork as well as my work-work, and fic writing and blogging are kind of at the bottom of that priority list.

Aug. 24th, 2012

I Overreact To Your Article About Overreaction! YAARGH!

Cracked, I am disappoint.

Normally, I love Cracked's articles. I learn new things, or get perspective on life from the different writers. Sometimes there's interesting articles about popular culture, or funny videos about various things. But today, I was disappointed with this article.

One thing I've noticed in the past is that this particular columnist seems to attract a lot of haters in the comments. I've never really understood it- sure, she's not the funniest columnist on there, but some of her articles are really interesting. Sometimes it seems like she sails a bit on the good ship USS Political Correctness, but it's not a big deal, really. But when I read this article on my phone at work yesterday, I just kind of sat there for a few minutes with my jaw hanging open. “Are you serious?” I asked myself. “What... what the heck is going on here?”

The article writer does have some valid points. The thing where people flip out about minor factual inaccuracies is a pet peeve of mine. Oh noes, someone used the wrong terminology, but you could still understand what they meant! Call the FBI! And other people having bad taste in entertainment. Yeah, it doesn't affect me, but I might think they're an idiot.

But what really stands out to me is #2, the thing about customers. Clearly this writer has never worked in customer service. Yes, any one of those examples she gives would be alright on its own- somewhat annoying, but not enraging. But it's the little things that add up- on a day when I've had shit thrown at me because I didn't react fast enough, or been threatened because we didn't have something in stock that the customer wanted, or seen people beat the everliving shit out of their kid because they were misbehaving, or who hold up the line because they can't make up their mind about what they want and then yell at you when you try to help someone else who actually is ready- those things add up. There's only so much of that you can take before the very sight of a customer sends your blood pressure through the roof. When it gets to that point, even minor customer transgressions will make you angry. And if you can't rant about your job, what can you rant about?

While she does have somewhat of a point in #1, the thing about getting angry about what other people wear, the examples she chose were horrible examples. Do I have a problem if a fat person wants to sit near me when I am eating? No. Do I have a problem if a sweaty, stinky fat person wants to sit near me when I am eating? Yes. But it has nothing to do with their size. I don't care how fat or thin you are, if you smell bad I don't want you anywhere near me, especially when I am trying to eat. You could be supermodel thin, but if you smell like ass I don't particularly want to be around you.

Of course, due to my reaction to this article, I'm probably going to be dead of hypertension by next week. :P

Jul. 7th, 2012

Even now, you taunt me still

Shoot the Messenger- H8_Seed While technically it's a fan-made My Little Pony song, this song speaks to me on so many different levels, and it's not explicitly My Little Pony themed. I feel like everyone has had this experience, feeling like they've been taken advantage of by someone, but still realizing that the other person needs them. I feel like this sometimes at work. If I left, the company I work for would have some problems trying to find someone competent enough to take over my job. Being a clerk isn't exactly hard, but my unofficial job is very difficult and I'm the only one that has any idea what they're doing on a computer. And yet I still work for a pittance.

Song lyrics:
You pride yourself on being rather shrewd
And yet you never show me gratitude
I'm sick and tired of playing your dumb game
I'm hurt and you're the one to blame

I just wanna will it away
But even now, you taunt me still
You pretend to think it's okay
That I'm the one that holds your quill

I hope when you think about the things you say
That you know you need me; I don't need you
And you knew not to shoot your messenger
(Well, if you didn't, then now you do)

I just wanna will it away
But even now, you taunt me still
You pretend to think it's okay
That I'm the one that holds your quill

Jul. 3rd, 2012

Happy Third of July!

The Fourth of July is probably my second favorite holiday, right after Christmas. I love it. I love fireworks, I love hanging out with my friends and family, I love snacking on watermelon and red, white, and blue cookies and cakes, I love the whole thing. Every year for the past six or so years, as well, my brother and I watch Looney Tunes: Back in Action on the Fourth. It's a tradition, although one that probably no one else in the world shares.

And this year, I don't get to have a Fourth of July, thanks to my job.

There are times when I really resent working in customer service. This is one of those times. We have to stay open on most holidays- the only ones we close for are Thanksgiving, Labor Day, and Christmas. Last year we closed for New Year, too, but that was only because we were having resurfacing done on the floors, and you can't really have customers up in the store when they're doing that. Sometimes we'll close early on certain days, like if we have to have a business meeting, or if we're having a company party or something, or even if it's a holiday and they feel like shutting down early. We closed at 5:00 PM on Memorial Day this year, you'd think we could close early on Independence Day. But apparently a major investor in the business threw a shit-fit when we closed early on Memorial Day, so now we can't close early on the Fourth. Which is, to put it bluntly, bullshit. It's also bullshit that I'm the only one stuck working on a holiday, but I guess since I took some time off to go to California it's only fair. Still, I'm not always the most rational being ever, and I'm a bit cranky about missing my favorite summer holiday to cater to a bunch of entitled little dipshits. Yeah, Angry Kaboom is Angry.

Usually on Independence Day, some of my friends and I will meet up and light off a bunch of fireworks. In the past, we've been able to get the fun fireworks, that are illegal in the state I live in, and light them off, much to my mother's consternation. But I've been lighting off fireworks since I was a wee little Kaboomlet (I lit my first sparklers when I was two, and I lit my first firecrackers when I was four)- I think I know how to light them off safely. This year, we only have the fountains and stuff, nothing that explodes and flies into the air, but we're already planning a road trip to the next two states up for next year, where there's a Black Cat fireworks warehouse that sells everything. It's five hours away, so I'll have to take a few days off work and we'll have to get a hotel room, but it'll be worth it.

As it is, I hope all of my American readers have a wonderful Fourth. I'll be thinking of you all while I'm moping around my job hating everything. :P

Jun. 29th, 2012

So pretty...

I found these really, really pretty eye makeup looks inspired by The Avengers. While I'm not half bad with applying makeup, there's no way I could do the more impressive ones (like the SHIELD logo or the design for Thor)- how she managed to do that without stencils or pre-printed eye makeup sheets I have no idea, but I want to learn from her. In fact, on my next day off I'm going to mess around a bit, try to recreate some of these (at least, the ones I think I might have a chance of managing to do). I especially like the Hulk and Loki designs, and Iron Man is pretty as well. I don't have any red eyeshadow, though, so that one might be out of the question for now (at least until I have enough time to go to Sephora and pick up some new eyeshadow colors).

I can just imagine the expression on my boss's face if I showed up for work with those eye makeup looks. Actually, the Big Boss would probably like them, honestly. My pseudo-boss, on the other hand? Probably not so much.

Jun. 12th, 2012

What (Not) To Wear

Lately, I've been working almost non-stop, but still just enough under the full-time line that I still qualify as part-time. Which is to be expected- the boss doesn't like to have full-time workers because then she has to start offering benefits. I don't really mind- I'm twenty and still on my dad's insurance, and I don't think I'll be working my current job for the rest of my life. But I am in a bit of a bind now, because I've been working so much. Later this week I have to take a trip to California for a bunch of family stuff (which should be interesting... I'll probably blog about it when I get back), but I'm realizing I don't really have any formal clothes or even really clothes to wear to a party.

I have my job-hunting clothes, and the stuff I wore when I was an FBLA officer in high school (that still fits- mostly). Other than that? I have my work clothes, and T-shirts. I do have a couple nice things from the Korean clothing store in the next city over, but I don't know if they'd be considered formal enough to wear to these events. And forget about shoes- I have about ten million pairs of flip-flops, a pair of winter boots, a pair of shoes from Aerosoles that I sometimes wear to work (although those are more winter shoes), and the trainers I wear to work most of the time. Again, nothing all that nice. But I don't know how in the hell I'm supposed to be able to get things like that when I'm working all the time, and furthermore, I don't want to spend the money.

Well, even if I look like I escaped the basement, I can at least do my makeup well.

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